So gin and wine won't be happening again
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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