dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
