I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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