i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize