drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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