rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
cat food counts as protein by the way
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize