No, drunk sperm still make babies.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
