you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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