yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
