Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
