broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
