No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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