I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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