Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
