This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
