lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
