If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
