Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
