We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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