I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Randomize
