i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
