I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
