So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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