wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
