Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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