party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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