Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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