Don't you send me to vm
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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