dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
