Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
