Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
