There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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