I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize