BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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