Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
