i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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