my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
