ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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