if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
