I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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