Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
