I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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