We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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