I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
