this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
