Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize
