How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
