You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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