why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
