Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
