its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
