Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
