you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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