were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
