just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
