clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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