Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize